Many at times when you ask those who say they are in love that “what is love”, the funny answer you get is “I can’t describe it”, whilst some say it is a special feeling. What these people are trying to saying is that, love is something they can’t control or make. Love is divine, it’s from God. Which also means it is a lie when people say “let’s make love”.

How can we make that which is unmakable? How can we make what we can’t control? So why are people wasting time, resources and energy trying to make love work? Love is just a product of a friendship. Friendship gives birth to love. Love is not found within strangers.

So the next time a stranger whispers that they love you, be bold and tell them, they are lying. Love comes as a result of friendship. In other words, love is fueled by friendship. The greater the friendship, the greater the love.

When the bible talks about love as the fruit of the spirit, it is our friendship with God that fuels the love. It is same for the relationship with people. For any marriage to work, it requires the couple to have a great friendship. The greater the friendship, the greater their love and the greater their marriage.

So instead of searching for love, sex, romance, intimacy, rather search for a friend. Make good a friend. Friendship that is true and sincere, friendship that is real and loyal. That is what will produce love which is true, real and loyal.

It is a total waste of time trying to make love work in your relationship. If you want to have the greatest romance ever in your union, you have to begin today by building the greatest friendship ever. It is not difficult to be a friend, but it may be impossible to be a lover.

You might not be feeling so special about your spouse today, but seeing them as a friend, doing the little things to cultivate the friendship, will bring back the love. Don’t let the friendship in your relationship die.

Many are divorced today not because of lack of love. They still love their ex, but what destroyed such relationship was lack of friendship. Love is like the flower in a plant, whilst friendship is like the plant itself. When you water the plant, it will grow to bear beautiful flowers.

Examine your present relationship, how is the plant? Is it dying? Then you’ve got to work at it. No dead plant produces flowers. Love cannot be found in a relationship whose friendship is dead.

A good friend is a great communicator who listens to their partner, speaks in the language they understand. A good friend trusts and is loyal. A great friend forgives. They don’t criticize, blame or accuse, they are the safe place for their friend. They know when to talk and when to keep quiet and just smile.

They know when to give help, and when to just hug and say “you are not alone”. A friend understands that the relationship is not perfect but honest. The best life partner people are looking for is not the most beautiful or the richest but a best friend. Someone who makes sure you know they love you.

In conclusion “Wounds from a friend are better than kisses from an enemy!” – Proverbs 27:6 (TLB).

Written by Counselor Adofoli